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Title:The McSweeney's Joke Book of Book Jokes
Format Type:Ebook
Author:
Publisher:Vintage
ISBN:030738733X
ISBN 13:
Number of Pages:224
Category:Humor, Fiction, Essays, Funny, Short stories

The McSweeney's Joke Book of Book Jokes by John Hodgman, McSweeney's Publishing, Jared Young

PDF, EPUB, MOBI, TXT, DOC The McSweeney's Joke Book of Book Jokes As John Hodgman says in this book s introduction We all know that books are funny First they are made of paste and cloth which is funny as is the fact that people still buy and read them With that in mind the i McSweeney s Joke Book of Book Jokes i collects the best book related humor from the humor laden archives of i McSweeney s Internet Tendency i Open it and be regaled by such sketches lists letters and spoofs as .

Postcards from James Joyce to his Brother Stan Winnie the Pooh is My Coworker Ikea Product or Lord of the Rings Character Popular Children s Fairy Tales Reimagined Using Members of My Family The Very Unauthorized Biography of Steven Seagal Chuck Norris Erotica John Updike Television Writer Jane Eyre Runs for President Cormac McCarthy Writes to the Editor of the i Santa Fe New Mexican i Holden Caulfield Gives the Commencement Speech to a High School Letters from Odysseus s College Roommate .

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Hodgman Boxed Set, A Game of Thrones (A Song of Ice and Fire, #1), The McSweeney's Joke Book of Book Jokes, That is All, More Information Than You Require, Year Zero, Vacationland: True Stories from Painful Beaches, Dimension of Miracles, The Areas of My Expertise: An Almanac of Complete World Knowledge Compiled with Instructive Annotation and Arranged in Useful Order, How to Sharpen Pencils: A Practical and Theoretical Treatise on the Artisanal Craft of Pencil Sharpening for Writers, Artists, Contractors, Flange Turners, Anglesmiths, & Civil Servants
Long ago in a time forgotten a preternatural event threw the seasons out of balance In a land where summers can last decades and winters a lifetime trouble is brewing The cold is returning and in the frozen wastes to the north of Winterfell sinister forces are massing beyond the kingdom s protective Wall To the south the king s powers are failing his most trusted adviser dead under mysterious circumstances and his enemies emerging from the shadows of the throne At the center of the conflict lie the Starks of Winterfell a family as harsh and unyielding as the frozen land they were born to Now Lord Eddard Stark is reluctantly summoned to serve as the king s new Hand an appointment that threatens to sunder not only his family but the kingdom itself br br Sweeping from a harsh land of cold to a summertime kingdom of epicurean plenty A Game of Thrones tells a tale of lords and ladies soldiers and sorcerers assassins and bastards who come together in a time of grim omens Here an enigmatic band of warriors bear swords of no human metal a tribe of fierce wildlings carry men off into madness a cruel young dragon prince barters his sister to win back his throne a child is lost in the twilight between life and death and a determined woman undertakes a treacherous journey to protect all she holds dear Amid plots and counter plots tragedy and betrayal victory and terror allies and enemies the fate of the Starks hangs perilously in the balance as each side endeavors to win that deadliest of conflicts the game of thrones br br Unparalleled in scope and execution A Game of Thrones is one of those rare reading experiences that catch you up from the opening pages won t let you go until the end and leave you yearning for more, b A hilarious guide to the lost art of artisanal pencil sharpening br b br I am so thrilled David Rees is picking up the reins of the forgotten art of manual graphite encased in wood point crafting I love my pencil br b AMY SEDARIS br b br You may think that sharpening a pencil is easy but David Rees makes it look hard and that makes all the difference br b JOHN HODGMAN b br br Truly my life before I was presented with correctly sharpened pencils by an artisan was a dull and ill sharpened void Learn from my mistakes br b NEIL GAIMAN br br b Have you got the right kind of point on your pencil Do you know how to achieve the perfect point for the kind of work you need out of that pencil br br Deep in New York s Hudson River Valley craftsman David Rees the world s number one pencil sharpener still practices the age old art of manual pencil sharpening In he began offering his artisanal service to the world to the jubilation of artists writers draftsmen and standardized test takers br br Now Rees presents a book that is both a manifesto and a fully illustrated walk through of the many many many ways to sharpen a pencil Including chapters on equipment current practice and modern technologies it also points at new trends in sharpening including Celebrity Impression Pencil Sharpening CIPS a warning about the Psychological Risks Associated with Pencil Sharpening and a survey of Wines that tastes like pencils br br As Rees implores Sharpening pencils should be an activity that enriches the senses br br And if you think it s a joke why don t you poke yourself with your newly sharpened pencil Or better yet don t because it ll really hurt, b Although his career as a bestselling author and on i The Daily Show With Jon Stewart i was founded on fake news and invented facts in that routine didn t seem as funny to John Hodgman anymore Everyone is doing it now b br br Disarmed of falsehood he was left only with the awful truth John Hodgman is an older white male monster with bad facial hair wandering like a privileged Sasquatch through three wildernesses the hills of Western Massachusetts where he spent much of his youth the painful beaches of Maine that want to kill him and some day will and the metaphoric haunted forest of middle age that connects them br br i Vacationland i collects these real life wanderings and through them you learn of the horror of freshwater clams the evolutionary purpose of the mustache and which animals to keep as pets and which to kill with traps and poison There is also some advice on how to react when the people of coastal Maine try to sacrifice you to their strange god br br Though wildly Hodgmaniacally funny as usual it is also a poignant and sincere account of one human facing his forties those years when men in particular must stop pretending to be the children of bright potential they were and settle into the failing bodies of the wiser weird dads that they are, b Award winning author narrator and screenwriter Neil Gaiman personally selected this book and using the tools of the Audiobook Creation Exchange ACX produced this work for his audiobook label Neil Gaiman Presents b br br b A few words from Neil on Dimension of Miracles b Dimension of Miracles is probably not Sheckley s most famous book but I think it s probably his best loved book It s about the joys and tribulations mostly the tribulations of winning the lottery the galactic lottery accidentally And wrongly Tom Carmody is awarded a remarkable prize is taken half way across the universe to collect it finds himself hopelessly lost and needs to find his way home again to Earth to this Earth not an alternate weirdo Earth He s got to get back And the price is high br br In its style of humor and even in some of the jokes Dimension of Miracles is very obviously a precursor of Douglas Adams Hitchhiker s Guide to the Galaxy Douglas actually hadn t read Dimension of Miracles until very shortly after Hitchhiker came out when people pointed him to it and he told me that he found the experience almost shocking it was like reading himself He was a huge admirer of Bob Sheckley and a huge admirer of this book and in later life I had the privilege of introducing both of them br br Now the challenge for me with a book this funny this strange this perceptive was to try and find a narrator who was as iconic somebody who could deliver the goods somebody who could give you a book like this as it deserved to be given And the first and the last and actually the only person to come to mind was John Hodgman So I asked John and he said yes And he did it he pulled it off Listening to John not just the suave sensible sane narrator of this book but all the peculiar accents and incarnations that he is forced to adopt through here he does it delightfully he does it brilliantly he s really really funny And so is this book Enjoy your journey through a Dimension of Miracles br br Dimension of Miracles is a satirical science fiction novel first published by Dell in It s about Tom Carmody a New Yorker who thanks to a computer error wins the main prize in the Intergalactic Sweepstakes Tom claims his prize before the error is discovered and is allowed to keep it However since Tom is a human from Earth without galactic status and no space traveling experience he has no homing instinct that can guide him back to Earth once his odyssey begins and the galactic lottery organizers cannot transport him home Meanwhile his removal from Earth has caused a predatory entity to spring into existence one that pursues and aims to destroy him Carmody is on the run and he ends up transporting from Earth to Earth different phases and realities of the planet which of course is not the time or condition he expects