eBook PDF / e-Pub Beautifully Unique Sparkleponies: On Myths, Morons, Free Speech, Football, and Assorted Absurdities

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Title:Beautifully Unique Sparkleponies: On Myths, Morons, Free Speech, Football, and Assorted Absurdities
Format Type:Ebook
Author:
Publisher:Little, Brown & Company
ISBN:0316236772
ISBN 13:
Number of Pages:252
Category:Non fiction, Humor, Essays, Memoir, Sports

Beautifully Unique Sparkleponies: On Myths, Morons, Free Speech, Football, and Assorted Absurdities by Chris Kluwe

PDF, EPUB, MOBI, TXT, DOC Beautifully Unique Sparkleponies: On Myths, Morons, Free Speech, Football, and Assorted Absurdities Hi In your hands right now you hold the culmination of thousands of years of human intelligence ingenuity and brilliance Now put your goddamn phone down and pay attention to my book .

What is in my book you ask I m really glad you asked by the way because now I get to tell you .

Time travel Gay marriage Sportsballing Futuristic goggles that DO NOTHING .

Tiny brags from my publisher stuff like This is an uproarious uncensored take on empathy personal responsibility and what it means to be human .

Excessive brags about myself An extraordinarily clever punishingly funny sharp tongued blogosphere star NFL player husband and father one time violin prodigy voracious lifetime reader obsessive gamer and fearless champion of personal freedom .

Oh and also an essay on the Pope s Twitter account Honestly if that doesn t draw you in there s no hope left for humanity I also give my own funeral eulogy in case you were hoping I d go away and die now .

So please join me in the glorious art of windmill tilting by reading this collection of rousing uncensored personal essays letters and stories I have no idea why that s in quotes .

Join the herd of i Beautifully Unique Sparkleponies i .

You know you want to

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Lightspeed Magazine, November 2013, Beautifully Unique Sparkleponies: On Myths, Morons, Free Speech, Football, and Assorted Absurdities, Press Start to Play, The PC Lie: How American Voters Decided I Don't Matter, The Falconers: Fort Eden, File Under: 13 Suspicious Incidents, Prime: A Genesis Series Event (Volume 1), Lightspeed Magazine, November 2016 (Lightspeed Magazine, #78), Uncanny Magazine Issue 8: January/February 2016, Dinosaur Killers
No description available, In the distant future following a genetic cataclysm on Earth humanity lives among the stars welded together by a massive network of space tearing gates A sprawling political entity Government guides the burgeoning empire via complete control of the gate network and all of the information flowing within ostensibly to prevent biohacking This ban on genetic modification is absolute However like all political systems rules are not always followed Deep at the end of a secluded Gate chain on an isolated resort moon nestled within the shadow of a gas giant a Government sanctioned biohacker named Xander Lillibridge is on the cusp of a discovery that will change the universe forever Unbeknownst to Xander his lab hidden beneath the crust of the moon is not as secure as he would like to believe and some creations should never be set free, There s gold and blood in the muddy streets of Fort Eden It s and our Falconers are hunting Cullers humanity s oldest enemy Yet what they find is like nothing they ve faced before Golden bullets alchemy and wits honed by bitter experience even these may not be enough to save this city from extinction, Match wits with Lemony Snicket to solve thirteen mini mysteries Paintings have been falling off of walls a loud and loyal dog has gone missing a specter has been seen walking the pier at midnight strange things are happening all over the town of Stain d By The Sea Called upon to investigate thirteen suspicious incidents young Lemony Snicket collects clues questions witnesses and cracks every case Join the investigation and tackle the mysteries alongside Snicket then turn to the back of the book to see the solution revealed A delicious read that welcomes readers into Lemony Snicket s world of deep mystery mysterious depth deductive reasoning and reasonable deductions